Washington D.C., 16 May 2017- Reuturs:
President of the United States Donald J. Trump has received a coveted Franchise award for his role in expanding the reach of Kasha & Kissel in the White House. The award formally called Prestizhnaya nagrada (Престижная награда) will be presented to him by Sergey Kislyak on the south lawn of the newest franchise, The White House. The ceremony will be closed to the public, no reporters will be allowed and it is rumored that Kellyann Conway will be the only photographer.
When reached for comment, The First Lady Melania Trump stated, “It's a win for my husband and for free market economy. In Russia it used to be we only had one potato. Now we have two potato and sometimes sausage in the can.” She declined any further statement until Michelle Obama’s next book is released.