Thursday, 27th April, 2017, Washington D.C.
President Trump, while in signing a flurry of Executive Orders, declared the Great Lakes "Mediocre" in a bold move to Make America Great Again as promised to his voting base.
The POTUS was quoted in saying, "The mediocre lakes will no longer take the focus off the yuge greatness that is America. Lake Superior has just learned who the boss is, lake Superior... you're fired!".
President Trump went on to sign a bunch more while declaring each a "Major Victory" toward fulfilling his campaign promises.
Not one of Mr. Trump's is a major law:
- Thirteen of the laws he signed repeal Obama-era regulations, dispensing with them quickly under the Congressional Review Act;
- Two of the laws name VA clinics -- one in Pago Pago and another in Pennsylvania;
- Five are personnel appointments.
"The notion that he's accomplished a great deal is just obviously not true," said David Greenberg, professor of history and journalism and media studies at Rutgers University. "I don't think there's really any way to say that with a straight face."
The President excused himself after signing the Mediocre Lakes E.O. sighting "extreme writer's cramp" and he needed to preserve the Presidential Wrist for his chip shot.