RIO: A new finding by the International Association for the Prevention of Swimmer's Ear (IAPOSE), suggests that the wearing of tight swim caps leads to temporary brain hypoxia. Secretary to the Swim Dr. General, Mrs. Erica Wheedling, tells NCB news the findings explain the bizarre behavior of four American swimmers; Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, Jimmy Feigen, and Ryan Lochte.
Wheedling explains, "The lack of bloodflow to their brains was significant enough, it seems from preliminary tests, that temporary dissociation had taken place. To the point of them not being able to hold their bladders in a situation that would seem completely normal to apply logic to. This also explains why swimmers always pee in the pool."
When pointed out to IAPOSE doctors that the four swimmers were not wearing their swim caps at the time of the incident, they explained that "Hypoxia is a funny thing. It can make you hallucinate and even change your voice to sound like you have been inhaling helium" They said in a high, squeaky voice.