I originally set out to only make some cedar planked fish for this episode of Food Porn, but it quickly ballooned into a quest for a plate of seafood too. Considering the local fish monger was having a great sale on fresh items from the ocean, the local produce has proven to be of the highest quality, and my wife and I owed a friend a great meal. I purchased some flounder fillets, a chick lobster, a couple pounds of king crab legs, a sweet potato and a few ears of corn from the local farmers. I also picked up a bag of fresh lemons and a refreshing Riesling to pair with the fare.

 I started by soaking my cedar plank (soaking is a theme here folks, more on that in a bit) in water for about a half an hour while prepping my lobster pot (or lobstah, like Jaxx43 and the rest of us New Englanders would say). I like to flavor my boil with some Old Bay seasoning, a beer, a couple of onions, some cayenne pepper, celery seed and a couple of lemons halved and squeezed. I set my pot on the burner and turn my attention to the corn. I load my corn into the sink with the plank of cedar. I let them soak with the plank for about 15 minutes. Now that the plank has been thoroughly soaked, I set it on a cookie sheet. I remove the flounder from its packaging and lay it on the plank with some sea salt, pepper, wicked thin onion slices, wicked thin lemon slices and some wicked fresh chives (wicked is another term we New Englanders use, as in a wicked shap knife. We recycle our R's by selling them to pirates).

 Now it's time to light the fire. I use a chimney style charcoal starter. All you need is a few pages of newspaper stuffed into the underside and fill the top side with your charcoal. (I suggest you don't use the comics from the newspaper because it will give your charcoal a funny flavor.) Light the bottom and allow to burn until the smoke is gone, then carefully pour into your grill. The benefit of this method is you don't have that lighter fluid smell and you don't have to buy or store that stuff either.

 I allow the grill grates to come to temperature and clean with a wire brush. This step is very important for food safety's sake. Never place food on a cold grill. You can make someone very sick or dead. Also, be sure to inspect your grill for any pieces of wire brush. If your brush is falling apart, get a new one. I like food with fiber, but steel fibers are not good eats.

 I place my potato on the grill over the heat and allow to cook for an hour or so, turning every now and again for evenness. When it is nearing complete, I surround it with the corn in the husk. This method of corn cookery steams the corn in its husk for an even better flavor in my opinion. When the corn and potato are complete, I remove to a cookie sheet and cover with foil. There will be enough residual heat to keep them warm for quite awhile. I place my fish plank directly over the coals and return to my company.

 Just then, Mother Nature decided she wanted to be a party member also. The sky opened up and dropped 3 inches of rain on us for the next hour. A new Olympic sport, the fifty yard fish dash, was invented. I was actually not upset being that it was 85 degrees out and wicked muggy. I needed a shower anyway. Soaked (I told you it was a theme), I return to the porch with my prize.

 Luckily my backup propane grill is on the side porch, conveniently next to the lobstah pot. I placed the fish plank onto the grill on high and savored the cedar smoke smell. I dropped my lobstah into the pot for about 5 minutes and added the crab legs about 3 minutes after the lobbie (another term for tasty crustacean). I plated the fish and removed the shellfish from the cauldron. It’s time to eat.

 I unceremoniously place the platter of seafood on the table, set with napkins, bowls of drawn butter, lemon wedges, salt and pepper and our beverages. The sumptuous sounds of sweet crabmeat sucked from its shell, the crack of a claw, the smell of the ocean and sweet corn from the field. The light smokiness of the cedar smoked flounder pairs so well with the earthy sweet potato. Sprinkled with a little cinnamon and mashed with butter on the plate, it melts in my mouth. The kernels of corn gilded with fresh cracked pepper burst in my mouth releasing their sweetness in typewriter fashion. This Food Porn feast has been sooo wicked good! The food gives way to empty plates and full bowls of shells and the schmatzen gives way to laughter and conversation. We finish our sea food frenzy with sips of home made Lemoncello and consider dessert. Alas, there is no room for that. Perhaps that will be the next episode of Food Porn.

 The author would like to thank the stars of this episode; Lobstah, in the roll of Chickie in Red; Crab, as herself; Flounder, Key Grip on Plank; Corn, Best Boy; and Sweet Potato on lights and piano. Supporting staff: butter, pepper, salt and the old man from scene 24 for singing his version of "life In a Northern Town" by Dream Academy. Generous thanks to Marion and Trina for the chuckles, guffaws, snorts and laughs as well as the handing out of toothpicks.